Fun with SPAM

Hey all,

Are you tired of receiving emails from strange people overseas asking you to join their firm as an account executive or some bogus position like that? Well, why not spread the love and do some spamming yourselves?

Here is the mission, should you choose to accept. Borrow the text below, go to the resume section of Craigslist, and start sending it out to unsuspecting job seekers.

Now, I'm no fan of Spam. But consider this friendly, funny Spam. It's uplifting Spam. Or Spam for a happy day. If you love your friends, you'll spam them too. I did. I may spam this some more soon.

Or, why not Spam the Spammers? That's an even better idea. The next time you find yourself Spammed, take this text below, and Spam them right back. There's nothing like revenge to put a spring in your step after all.

So, get to work, my cyber terrorists, and start spamming.

"Dear Sir/Ma’am

My name is Rapunzel Charming. I saw your resume on craigslist and wanted to offer you a very important job. You see, I’m located in the Northern Germany. To be more precise, I’ve been locked away in a tower by my wicked step-mother. I’ve not access to anything except a very slow internet land line. She didn’t even leave me a pair of scissors, so I can’t cut my hair. It’s bad enough being locked up in a tower, but to be forced to wear my hair like a hippy? It’s like living in the dark ages.

But enough about my domestic troubles…

I have a $$$$$$$$$$ making job offer for you. Several years ago Prince Charming and I started a white slavery ring involving several dwarves. There is an abundance of dwarves where we come from, mostly due to malnutrition and poor health care, which itself stems from corruption in the World Bank. This, however, is beside the point. What is important is that our dwarf slave trade turned out to be a winning business model. We sold dwarves to circuses, carnivals, and science labs throughout the world. The money is literally rolling in as you read this email.

Unfortunately, I’m unable to perform the accounts receivable work like I once did, on account of being locked up in a tower with a slow modem and all. Therefore, I’d like to offer you a once in a lifetime opportunity to join Dwarf Trade Enterprises as an accounts receivable specialist. It’s such a simple job even an ogre could do it. Funds are deposited into your bank account; you take a 10% cut, and send the rest to us.

There is one catch. If you try to take any more than 10%....say you have an interest only loan that’s kicking in so you take maybe 11% instead…I’ll have you turned into a toad.

Other than that, there are a number of perks to this position. You get to work for yourself, make lots of money, and get a free dwarf as a token of our appreciation.

Just send me:

Your name:

And any information regarding the following.

Bank Account:

Life insurance policy:

Swiss Bank Account:

Any other Off-Shore Tax Shelters:

IRA Account
Roth IRA Account

401(k) Account

403(b) Account
And any other important account you may have.

Thank you for your interest, and please respond soon as Prince Charming and I would like to fill this vacancy by the end of the week.

Sincerely
Rapunzel Charming
Dwarf Trade Enterprises"