Follow this link to Maureen Dowd's recent op-ed piece in the New York Times. I think part of our vetting process should be if Obama can take a joke without crying about it.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/16/opinion/16dowd.html?ex=1373947200&en=935f4562bc9195b4&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink
Friday, July 18, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Obama and the New Yorker
Finally someone has revealed Barack and Michelle Obama for who they truly are…flag burning militants sympathetic to Middle East terrorists.
Oh, sure, editors at The New Yorker claim their recent cover is just a satire, an attempt to highlight the Conservative Right’s fears of the presumptive Democratic nominee, but we all know this is just a rouse to protect their liberal blue state credentials as they break rank to try and deliver the real message about the dangers of a Barack Obama presidency. They say average people like us won’t get it’s a satire, and they’re right. We see through the satire to the real conspiracy, don’t we?
First off, the magazine cover reveals that Barack Obama is secretly a member of the Taliban. Just look at him. He’s the same color as a terrorist. And he looks so good in that terrorist outfit of his. Plus, isn’t it interesting that his name, Barack Obama, sounds so similar to Osama Bin Laden that you could easily call him Obama Bin Laden? My word processor even insists on changing Obama to Osama when I do a spell check which I have to do often since I’m one of those dim witted people who don’t get big two syllable words like satire.
It gives one pause, does it not? It even makes one wonder if Obama’s meteoric rise on the national scene is really a conspiracy among the members of the Illuminati. How else could a man with such a funny name come so close to an Oval Office designed for old white man with boring names like Bill and George and Jimmy. It’s a slippery slope, ladies and gentlemen. Once we get one guy with a funny name in there, the flood gates will open. Presidents set trends after all. John F. Kennedy ruined the fedora industry because he refused to wear a hat in public, and so this wonderful fashion accessory disappeared from men’s heads across the country. I guarantee the same will happen to boring names. Now everybody will want to name their kids something funny like Ochra or Pleutarch.
Also take a look in the fireplace. He’s burning American flags. He’s using them as kindling. Now some may argue that he’s doing the Patriotic thing and burning these flags because they got dirty. But not me. The truth is obvious. Obama is just really, really cold. He’s wearing nothing but a robe after all. He’s probably freezing half to death. It does snow in Washington after all, and with the price of oil today, we cannot afford to heat the Oval Office anymore. So the guy decides to burn some flags. But couldn’t he have burned somebody else’s flag, like maybe the flag of an enemy, like maybe, you know, Iran or North Korea?
Then there is his wife, Michelle, with that big 1970s Afro and combat boots. Who knew an Ivy League educated lawyer could secretly be a member of the Black Panthers? What can we draw from this? It’s obvious as the nose ring on your face. She’s going to ride into Washington in her 1975 Cadillac with the pink leather interior and redecorate the West Wing with lava lamps and disco balls. Worse, I bet she’ll even use her power as first lady to lobby television executives to revive Soul Train, a favorite program among radical Black Panther Ivy League lawyers.
Yet, the biggest thing this magazine cover shows us is…Barack and Michelle do not have a sense of humor. They’re not smiling in the picture. They don’t smile when they look at the picture. They don’t even smile when they talk about the picture at their campaign rallies. They just whine about wit. They claim it reinforces stereotypes. Now why would they say an awful thing like that?
But it does beg the question…how much will they bitch and moan about the negative media attention they receive if they do end up in the Oval Office? You don’t hear George W. Bush whining. And that guy’s had movies made about him. Web sites compare the man to a chimp…and the similarity between the old W and our distant ancestors does seem eerily close indeed. But Bush doesn’t whine about it. Maybe it’s because he’s too stupid to know any better. But he doesn’t whine.
Maybe if Barack really wants to win the white house, he should man up and learn to take a joke…even if it’s too sophisticated a joke for all those poor middle Americans who have nothing better to take refuge in except guns and religion and baseless fears about Obama Bin Laden.
Oh, sure, editors at The New Yorker claim their recent cover is just a satire, an attempt to highlight the Conservative Right’s fears of the presumptive Democratic nominee, but we all know this is just a rouse to protect their liberal blue state credentials as they break rank to try and deliver the real message about the dangers of a Barack Obama presidency. They say average people like us won’t get it’s a satire, and they’re right. We see through the satire to the real conspiracy, don’t we?
First off, the magazine cover reveals that Barack Obama is secretly a member of the Taliban. Just look at him. He’s the same color as a terrorist. And he looks so good in that terrorist outfit of his. Plus, isn’t it interesting that his name, Barack Obama, sounds so similar to Osama Bin Laden that you could easily call him Obama Bin Laden? My word processor even insists on changing Obama to Osama when I do a spell check which I have to do often since I’m one of those dim witted people who don’t get big two syllable words like satire.
It gives one pause, does it not? It even makes one wonder if Obama’s meteoric rise on the national scene is really a conspiracy among the members of the Illuminati. How else could a man with such a funny name come so close to an Oval Office designed for old white man with boring names like Bill and George and Jimmy. It’s a slippery slope, ladies and gentlemen. Once we get one guy with a funny name in there, the flood gates will open. Presidents set trends after all. John F. Kennedy ruined the fedora industry because he refused to wear a hat in public, and so this wonderful fashion accessory disappeared from men’s heads across the country. I guarantee the same will happen to boring names. Now everybody will want to name their kids something funny like Ochra or Pleutarch.
Also take a look in the fireplace. He’s burning American flags. He’s using them as kindling. Now some may argue that he’s doing the Patriotic thing and burning these flags because they got dirty. But not me. The truth is obvious. Obama is just really, really cold. He’s wearing nothing but a robe after all. He’s probably freezing half to death. It does snow in Washington after all, and with the price of oil today, we cannot afford to heat the Oval Office anymore. So the guy decides to burn some flags. But couldn’t he have burned somebody else’s flag, like maybe the flag of an enemy, like maybe, you know, Iran or North Korea?
Then there is his wife, Michelle, with that big 1970s Afro and combat boots. Who knew an Ivy League educated lawyer could secretly be a member of the Black Panthers? What can we draw from this? It’s obvious as the nose ring on your face. She’s going to ride into Washington in her 1975 Cadillac with the pink leather interior and redecorate the West Wing with lava lamps and disco balls. Worse, I bet she’ll even use her power as first lady to lobby television executives to revive Soul Train, a favorite program among radical Black Panther Ivy League lawyers.
Yet, the biggest thing this magazine cover shows us is…Barack and Michelle do not have a sense of humor. They’re not smiling in the picture. They don’t smile when they look at the picture. They don’t even smile when they talk about the picture at their campaign rallies. They just whine about wit. They claim it reinforces stereotypes. Now why would they say an awful thing like that?
But it does beg the question…how much will they bitch and moan about the negative media attention they receive if they do end up in the Oval Office? You don’t hear George W. Bush whining. And that guy’s had movies made about him. Web sites compare the man to a chimp…and the similarity between the old W and our distant ancestors does seem eerily close indeed. But Bush doesn’t whine about it. Maybe it’s because he’s too stupid to know any better. But he doesn’t whine.
Maybe if Barack really wants to win the white house, he should man up and learn to take a joke…even if it’s too sophisticated a joke for all those poor middle Americans who have nothing better to take refuge in except guns and religion and baseless fears about Obama Bin Laden.
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